Every bit of me feels so alive today. Listening was easier. Class felt (and was) long (an hour!) but I felt a lot more focused throughout. I spent a bit more time warming up and dancing before class, so maybe that helped.
Right at the start, I feel more aware of all of my body parts and more sensitive to the sensations of them. I feel the beginnings of curves more clearly and track the traveling stuff as it passes through me. Being able to "turn on" at the start of class is really helping me not get frustrated or distracted and keep my foucs.
We start class with a lot of layering, to a point where it’s almost overwhelming, but less so today than other days. I don't know if they're even visible, but I can feel the curves all the way in my fingers and knuckles down to my ankles and toes. These curves are helping me find more freedom in my hips while we play with our standing legs in plie. The curves feel more effortless than normal. I don’t know how to describe it, except that everywhere is very "on."
In our plies, the teacher tells us “Stand up and spread wide. Carress something with your back.” I imagine a fluffy pink wall behind me, molding to the shape of my back side. It’s soft, and I’m rubbing my back against it like a cat. The sensation is more external, I sense. “Feel the backs of your thighs on the inside of your pants. Your shirt touching your lower back.” It’s still my skin, but it feels a little further under, a little further in.
These opposing ideas usually conflict in my mind, but today my mind feels freer. They are happening without too much thought. If feels opposite but both moving towards the same goal.
We shake on multiple levels. “Shake the flesh from your thighs. Now shake the skin off your flesh.” My skin is sitting right on top of my flesh, but the shaking sensation feels drastically different. Maybe because there is more flesh to shake off bone than there is skin on flesh. We shake things off of us and spray them everywhere. “Pick up your speed to get our of your habits.” Faster I shake, but also with more letting go, less inhibition. I let my limbs fly. We start to turn our shake down, making it quieter. “Don’t get too inward. Keep your focus out, and continue to feel the echo traveling far. Feel the vibrations leaving you.” The teacher catches me right as I started to look inward a bit too much. I redirect my energy out, even though my shake is coming into me. We carry our small shake as we shift our weight, and it's difficult to smoothly transfer until the shake fades completely.
We start throwing something really far to inform how we can throw our arm from far away in our body. We play with throwing just from our shoulders. My arm doesn’t get too far; it feels isolated and small. We try throwing now from our stomach. The initiation is lower, and the energy has farther to spread from my pelvis, and also from my feet. It’s a whole body experience.
We try moving slowly, but still from far away, like we are moving through thick honey. We speed up, and the teacher tells us to keep the feeling of honey. It’s hard to remember it at the exact same viscosity when my movements become infinitely faster, but I try to retain as much thickness as I can to engage my whole body. We try the same with our legs, and it’s more challenging for me, physically and mentally. Now, balance is in the play.
We do some swings and some rond de jambs. “Swing, but imagine you’re pushing the honey every time you move and brush. Use all of you to bring your foot in to you, and use all of you to move your foot away from you.” This clicks for me. As I push my foot away from me, I feel places in other parts of my body work to move my leg. My abs work, my shoulders, my standing foot. “30% of effort everywhere.” I still fall a few times, but my intentions are there: to spread the effort.